I need new motivation.
At 2 am on Thursday morning, I was woken up by the philosophical waxing of two girls and two guys sitting in a convertible across the street from my house. They talked about their friendship and their night and sang loudly and seriously, but mostly badly. If I had been one of the people in that car, it would have been a wonderful night of connecting with good friends on a level one does not often achieve.
I was not in that car. I was trying to sleep. On a warm night, in a house with no air conditioning. My windows were open out of necessity. I could hear every word they said. I even knew the song they were singing.
Consequently, 6:30 came and I couldn’t move. I slept in late, almost even late for work.
As a safety for this morning’s run, M volunteered to come with me. The plan was that I would get up at 6:15, run for 10-15 minutes on my own, then swing by his place to get him at 6:40. We’d take the long way back to my house at a higher speed and then do some strength training and stretching before breakfast and the rest of the morning routine.
I didn’t wake up until 6:33. Rushed to get ready and out the door and still didn’t meet him outside his house until 6:47 or so. We took the short way back to my place, did an extra loop around my crescent (about 600m) and called it a day. In all, I’m lucky if I ran 1.5km this morning.
It was disappointing, especially with the strong start I had this week. Last week was hard, but Monday’s run gave me some hope that it was just a bump, and it would get easier. That hasn’t happened.
Perhaps I need to lower my expectations for myself. In high school, at age 17, I ran 5km in 30 minutes. It was one of the slowest times too, which doesn’t help when I run for 30 minutes and discover I only went 4.6km. I feel like I should still be able to do what I could do after a season of training and trying to keep up, in a racing environment no less. In reality, it’s probably unrealistic.
I need to accept that a short run is better than no run and that a missed day is better than a missed week. And on Monday, I just need to get back at it and focus on each day as it comes.